Beauty Standards in Womanhood

As a woman, there is so much to manage when it comes to presenting and preserving yourself. Maintaining yourself from the inside out requires non-stop intention and effort. It was a point where I had little to no standards when I walked out of the house. I simply wanted to appear natural and simple. Over the years, I’ve met women who have honed in on their beauty regimens and have schedules/appointments that cater to them. They’ve shared that with me and it has inspired me to become intentional about keeping myself up. Therefore, with this post, I wanted to gather the staples of my life from hygiene and appearance to mental health.

Natural/Reasonable Beauty Standards:

To me, some women go extreme regarding the effort and time it takes to get “dolled up.” As a mother, I simply don’t have that kind of time. So I had to come up with ways that were reasonable for me to prepare my look for the day, my “daily uniform” so to speak. For this, I also had to come up with levels of my beauty regimes which determine how much effort to put into how I look. The levels are just from 1-3 and they go a little something like this:

Level 1:

This is for everyday, last-minute makeup. This 5-minute routine only includes having my eyebrows and gluing on my lashes. This is my bare minimum for work or leaving the house. If my skin is behaving, I’m just fine with these two. Also with this, my hair is always done, therefore if I keep it this simple, I still don’t feel/look that bad.

Level 2:

This is for every day also but a step up (obviously). It’s best for when I have a little extra time to get ready, maybe 20-30mins. With this, I have a simple makeup routine including foundation, concealer, neutral eyeshadow, lashes, blush, contour, highlight, and lips. This is the optimal look for me wanting to be polished and put together at work or out on the town also. For my hair, I’ll either freshen it up or do it earlier that morning.

Level 3:

Now…this is for special occasions only. With this, I’ll try different eye or lip looks, or a bolder lash. I’m either taking photos/headshots in a self-photoshoot or attending some event. For hair, baby…I have to either pull out a curling wand (because they take so long) or refresh my hair in some kind of way.

Even though this was a general idea of how I present myself for different occasions (from the neck up), there are additional routines of maintenance that are prerequisites of my everyday getup look that are also important.

Hair Management:

From the top of my head to the bottom of my toes, just like everyone else (I definitely have more than the average though), I have to manage hair growth/removal. Therefore, I had to create a system that helps me keep my hair at bay routinely so it is in sync with my calendar. I realized that when I maintain my hair, in general, I am much more prepared to get ready daily without the worry of last-minute shaving or unwanted bad hair days.

Hair on my head – Along with my kids, I have to keep all of our hair trimmed and healthy. Therefore, I consistently use products and routine trims to promote it. Our hair days are usually Sunday. I’m able to wash and style all of our heads of hair that will last us for the week.

For me, I either straighten, pin curl or curl my hair using the wand. All of these styles can fall/settle during the week, have minimal upkeep/preservation, and look great up until wash day. For my kids, I usually braid or keep my daughters hair in a protective style and keep my son’s sides low with hair clippers. This might seem like a lot, but putting in the work upfront leaves me at ease during the week.

Body Hair – I know this might be TMI, but as a woman, we are all curious about and willing to share things when it comes to personal hygiene and beauty hacks. For me, being exposed to the methods of hair removal/maintenance as a woman was intriguing. Growing up, I only knew of Nair and razors to remove unwanted hair. Finding out about other methods allowed me to discover what hair removal methods were best for my legs, mustache, eyebrows, underarms, and pocketbook😉.

In my early 20s, I heard about waxing the pocketbook but I was reluctant to do it for a while. However, I ended up doing it on the cusp of summer because I didn’t want to deal with the extra heat and odor of body hair (anywhere) brings during the warmer months. Getting my first Brazilian wax turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Even though it does come with a great amount of pain, but when you factor in pain for 15mins for a reward of no hair for a complete month?? Yes, please! 

For my legs and underarms, I recently purchased a laser hair removal tool to try and permanently remove hair in these places. It does require you to shave prior, so I’ve opted into shaving before using it instead of waxing. 

Today my body hair removal regimens include:

What	How Often	Removal Method
Eyebrows	Monthly	Threading
Upper Lip	Weekly	Shave & Laser
Underarm	Weekly	Shave & Laser
Pocketbook lol	Monthly	Wax
Legs	Weekly	Shave & Laser

Granted, all of these methods are pretty quick. So at least it’s not a great amount of time keeping myself up. But being consistent is key because letting ONE of these things slip will have me out here feeling like a cavewoman.😂

Skin Management: 

Skincare is still trial and error for me. From dealing with strawberry legs, discoloration, extra dryness, and acne-prone skin, I’m still trying to find what can simply correct these issues. For my face, I have tried multiple products to achieve that glowing “glass” skin that is hyped up. No luck so far. Currently, I am trying the Buttah Skin Care system to see if it gives me some improvement. With it, I get a sense of having something that comes in a set. I was convinced to purchase it because it is highly proclaimed and black-owned. So far though, my hormonal acne is still winning the battle chile. If this doesn’t improve my skin, I’ll have to seek some professional help to have balance.

My body’s skin and hygiene are pretty explanatory. I have found some game-changing products including this salicylic acid body wash, Vaseline’s jelly stick, and shimmering body oil to achieve clear, glowing skin.✨

Mind Management:

Seeking therapy is a threshold that you have to step into as an adult eventually. With experiences from our upbringing and the constant change of adulthood, therapy is for everyone. I first experienced how therapeutic it can be to talk with clients who insisted on learning more about me. This became a nice way for me to genuinely relate to others and share similarities of things we went through or were going through. That ultimately lead me to seek professional help, there I would feel more comfortable about working out things with a therapist that weren’t resolved on my own, or with someone else’s reliable advice.

So far, I’ve only had one session. I got to open up the floodgates of my life from the beginning all the way up to today. Also, I wanted the first session to be in person instead of virtual (since it’s more common). With counseling, I’m looking forward to how I will be challenged. So I’m trying to make sure that I have specific topics that I would love guidance for in order to make the entire experience beneficial.

Closing | Recap

That’s all I got! I hope that since you’ve gotten this far, you’ve enjoyed this post and found some products that can be added to your beauty regime! There are too many products on the shelf and it can be overwhelming, but if you’d like, please feel free to comment your holy grails below!

Until Next Time,
Tamara